Teenage Pregnancy's new white face

i recently found the website XhibitP via TheNuBlack website. XhibitP is a virtual gallery that houses works from various artistic mediums that address social issues. currently, they're tackling issues surrounding teen pregnancy.

teen pregnancy seems to be everywhere in the media right now. Sarah Palin's daughter was a teen mother, MTV has a new show entitled '16 and Pregnant', and there was a story in the news recently about a high school in Tennessee that housed more pregnant females than ones that were not. conversations have arisen which have asked whether shows and movies (like Juno) that showcase teen pregnancy are glamorizing teen pregnancy or educating the general public.

most episodes of 16 and Pregnant feature white teenagers being raised by their middle/upper-income families. Jamilah Lemeiux brought to light the fact that at a time in which pregnancy was only though to inhabit poor women of color, it was something to be ashamed of, but now that it has a white face, it is something to look at sympathetically.

it's interesting the way the media has chosen to portray teen pregnancy. when young black and brown women were getting pregnant (Claudette Colvin), it was seen as something to further negative attitudes against black women. they were seen as loose, promiscuous, and void of any value (which, in our society, almost always centered around virginity) they may have had (which wasn't much to begin with considering their "race"). the ideas about a black women being nothing more than lascivious sexual objects were then coupled with the idea of that women of color were negligent and irresponsible mothers, all while we took jobs mainly as care-takers, wet-nurses, midwives, and baby-sitters to white families. the idea has not changed much. although it has currently been joined with the idea that we're having abortions like it's a Sunday ritual.

unfortunately, this is nothing more than racism functioning in the social realm. when black and brown women do something society as deemed irresponsible, devious, and sexually deviant, there are movements that call us feeble-minded and justify sterilizations. when a white woman does it, and Lemeiux said, it's something to feel sympathetic about, and something that truly needs to be addressed now; something for politicians to rally around; something the society needs to get to the bottom of. if shows like 16 and Pregnant are going to be shown, they need to show the diversity and the reality of these situations. they have failed to show women from lower-income housing; ones living in government housing; ones struggling to make next month's rent; ones that do not know who the father of their child is; one's without cars, without parents to depend on, or without enough money to have baby showers.

but on another note, what is the deeper issue with teen pregnancy? is it the fact that they are having sex at what our society sees as a young age? is it because the US doesn't have the economic or social stability for a teen mother to be independent? is it because these women are nowhere near the mindset one needs in order to be a mother in this country? is it because religious influences convince us that celibacy is the only right way to go about procreation?

in traditional indigenous societies, women had children regularly starting in their teens. the problem between their societies and ours is that we have taken away rites of passage and other social forms of teaching the youth to be adults, not to mention genuine respect for human life over that of career opportunities and monetary gain. so do these young mothers have the issues or the society?

society is definitely the problem, although we should not wait on young women to get pregnant in order to act. when a young woman becomes pregnant, there are organizations willing to give her an abortion (although it is illegal in some states), and the government willing to give free food (WIC). but where is the other help? where is the help a young woman needs in order to know how to care for her child? financial advice to help her be independent? or any other type of social safety net that insures she's in the most healthy (physically, but most importantly, mentally) state she can be for herself and her child?

after reading a very insightful and inspiring chapter from bell hooks about sisterhood, i feel as though women of color (and ultimately all people of color, but there needs to be a model, first) need to rally around one another and create these types of safety nets. we need to build organizations that offer mental, physical, economic, and spiritual aid to teen mothers, as well as single-mothers, or just mothers in general. we have to be the ones that decide how our communities receive sex-education and demand that it not be saturated in religious nonsense and sexist notions of value and womanhood.

when women of color look down and spread gossip about other women of color because they happen to have 2 and 3 different fathers to their children, or may keep more than one sexual partners, we are maintaining the social cesspool that these children are unfortunately born into, not to mention that it severs any relationships that could garner unity.

bell hooks quotes Toni Morrison in Feminist Theory where she urges women to repair our relationships:

"i want not to ask you, but tell you not to participate in the oppression of your sisters....I am alarmed by the violence that women do to each other: professional violence, competitive violence, emotional violence. i am alarmed by the willingness of women to enslave other women. i am alarmed by a growing absence of decency on the killing floor of professional women's worlds."

bell hooks follows up by saying this:

"To build a politicized, mass-based feminist movement, women must work harder to overcome the alienation from one another that exists when sexist socialization has not been unlearned, e.g. homophobia, judging by appearance, conflicts between women with diverse sexual practices. ... we must renew our efforts to help women unlearn sexism if we are to develop affirming personal relationships as well as political unity."

i think once we (as women of color) take control of ourselves and commit to one another - young and old, pregnant, not pregnant, post-abortion, academically educated or not - only then will we see a situation in which children are welcomed into the world as opposed to being looked at as burdens that our society has made us bear or obstacles we have to overcome in order to live with any level of stability.

comment. think. criticize.

Communion: The Female Search for Love

i'm about 30 pages to the end of a book i HAVE to do a post about- Communion:The Female Search for Love by bell hooks. this is one of the best books i've read and one my favorite by bell hooks. this books is almost like a self-help book coupled with a political edge.

as usual, bell is speaking the TRUTH. she discusses, analyzes and gives solutions for many issues women, particularly women of color face in dealing with personal relationships, but also in the area of personal love; personal acceptance. she also tackles gender roles (even some supposed positive ones), feminists' romantic relationships with men and ways in which feminism has failed (and ways in which it has been victorious), and life as a young feminist in the heart of the movement. she also points out that feminism has made strides in the arena outside the home, but has yet to truly make a dent inside the home; in personal relationships with men; in the bedroom. here are some quotes from the book that i believe are crucial.

"Contrary to mass media's insistence that we were learning how to be man-hating, in fact we were taught to understand the ways male identity and self-actualization were usurped by patriarchal socialization. Men who oppressed women did not do so because they acted simply from the space of free will; they were in their own way agents of a system they has not put into place".

"I believe that feminist debate about love and sexuality ended precisely because straight women did not want to face the reality that it was highly unlikely in patriarchal society that a majority of men would wholeheartedly embrace women's right to say not in the bedroom. "

"Complete feminist culture transformation could happen without male allies only if women were willing to sacrifice their desire to have primary relationships with men.... We did not want to acknowledge out loud that feminist demands had been compromised, that many of us were settling for equality and power in the public arena while continuing to conform to sexist gender roles at home or, most important, in the bedroom."

"Men who were willing to be househusbands, to take care of the kids, to be advocated for equal pay for equal work, to do their share or even all the housekeeping, were not willing to change in any way their sexual habits.... what if the real discovery that feminists could not speak was the fact that men did not care if we were equals everywhere, including the battlefield, as long as they remained our superiors-the ones in charge, the ones on top-in the bedroom?"

"Male domination of females in the sexual arena (whether they maintain control by wanting too much sex or none at all) is a constant reminder that females are not free, that we have not attained full equal rights or equity."

"...patriarchy, like any colonizing system, does not create the context for women and men to love one another."

"Until our culture can break through myth and accept that women are not innately capable of nurturing others, the assumption that women are better able to love than men will prevail. ...nurturance-the ability to care for another in a manner that enhances well-being-in a learned behavior. men learn it as well as women. patriarchal culture is reinforced when males are not taught ways to nurture and care for others."

"Until we are able to acknowledge that women fail at loving because we are no more schooled in the art of loving than are our male counterparts, we will not find love. ...As long as being loved is seen as a gesture of weakness, one that disempowers, women will remain afraid to love fully, deeply, completely... women who learn how to love represent the greatest threat to the patriarchal status quo."

"The intensity of their hold on mass culture's imagination is so strong that many young women seeking to be independent, powerful, and successful have simply embraced the idea that they are "bitches". their uncritical acceptance of this image is problematic. it helps perpetuate sexist stereotypes about powerful women. young women want to embrace the "hard bitch" image because it keeps them from having to confront the pain that comes when females are punished for choosing to be self-actualized and successful."

"we demand that men change, and when they do, we are often not ready to affirm and embrace the liberation we claimed to desire."

"Patriarchal culture was not disturbed when feminism appeared to be a woman-only thing. however, as more males became involved, feminist cultural revolution threatened to bring an end to patriarchy."

Black Feminism and its Haters

so...my friend Fabian, who i've had many conversations with, is in the habit of criticizing black feminism, so much so that he has felt the need to write a short essay detailing his issues with the movement. i'll show his paper and then my response to it:

Mattress: The cries of captured women in their enslaver’s house

"Bokùnrin réjo bobìnrin pa á, kéjo má sa ti lo" (If a man sees a snake and a woman kills it, what matters is the death of the snake). -Yoruba proverb

"Tokotobo lo n sise oko Ido." (Both the vagina and the penis should work together for success on Idos farm) -Yoruba proverb

"Nwa-agbogho Ugwuta si nne ya na otu nwoke ka ya na-agara onwe ya, o wee tuburu ya raa. Nne ya wee si ya gaa rakwuru. O gaa, a rachie ya ozo." (An Ugwuta (Oguta) girl told her mother that as she was going on her way,a man came and thew her down and sexed her. Her mother told her to go and retaliate. She went, and was sexed again.) -Igbo proverb

"Anaghi atu ikpu ukwu egwu maka na o bughi ya gaara ownwe ya." (One cannot be afraid of the wide vagina because it cannot sex itself). -Igbo Proverb

“The African woman seems to have achieved that economic independence for which our women are clamoring”. -Mary French-Sheldon

Feminism and its short comings have already been explored by people such as Esther Vilar and Jack Kammer. This paper will not continue on that journey because beating on a dead horse is not our interest; however this paper will explore the oxymoron known as “black feminism”. This paper will highlight some myopic tendencies of the “black feminist” movement. It will also shed light on black heroines of the past who had no need for any sort of feminism and it will hopefully give black women the tools needed to create a true movement based on their history.

Many African women especially those in America (where the headquarters of black feminism seems to be located) are under the false oppression that they are oppressed by all of society and at the head of this oppression gang are black men. Let us not forget that in America more African women attend college and university than African men do. (link here), the fact still remains that African men die on average much earlier than African women. (link here), and African women not only earn more income compared to African men, (link here). They are more likely to be employed than African men (even in this “recession”) (link here). So it is very confusing that African women would identify with such a movement.

To label one a Black “feminist” is detrimental towards history. Because by calling themselves feminists legitimate concerns especially those regarding “race” get usurped by gender issues that black women cant possibly face from their economically powerless African men. When Fela Kuti called his music “Afrobeat” he was following the ancient African custom of placing importance on names. He could have simply called his music “Afrofunkjazz” but by doing such he would have ended up as a footnote in jazz’s or Funk’s history. Such is the fate of black feminists who will inevitably become footnotes in the history of the feminist movement.

African women do however need a movement to educate their black men and sons of their historical importance and power that they wielded before all the isms of Europe. Take for example the issue of sexism within the black panthers movement, most of the women were only allowed cooking and clerical roles. Many of the men were probably ignorant of the fact that African women historically shared the burden of the battle field with their men, the Candace’s of Ethiopia, the aba women of 1912 and the Amazons of dahomey are fine examples of black women wanting to be more than baby pushers and meal makers unlike their European counterparts whose only example of battlefield prowess (Joan of arc) was burned.

Historically speaking African women had no need for “ feminism” women such as Queen Nanny of Jamaica, and Queen Nzingha of Angola would more than likely laugh at modern day African women who are hell bent on copying the supposed “patriarchy”, (Chinweizu has already shown the matriarchy that it truly is in his book titled “ The anatomy of female power) how is it that black women who historically controlled the marketplace( they still do in America if one is to look at the fact that more African women work than African men) ever faced gender oppression from black men. Bell Hooks in many of her analyses has shown us that capitalism and “patriarchy” go hand in hand. My question is how can African men can be patriarchal when they have no capital to accumulate and they are more likely to be in jail than in school, (watch here) .Many black feminists should realize that the oppression they do face is not because of their gender but because of their race. The book “White Women’s Rights” by Louise Michelle Newman goes to great lengths in proving this point. Below is a discourse between Ida B Wells and white feminist Frances Willard found in her book.

The confrontation between Frances Willard and Ida B. Wells began with an interview

given in October 1890, in which Willard expressed her belief that white Southerners

were mostly “kindly intentioned towards the coloured man” and sympathized

with them over their “immeasurable” problem. She went on to portray black men as

illiterate alcoholics who multiplied like the “locusts of Egypt,” concurring that in the

South, black men represented a physical threat to white women, who were in constant

need of white men’s surveillance and protection: “the safety of [the white]

woman, of childhood, of the home,” Willard proclaimed, “is menaced in a thousand

localities at this moment, so that the [white] men dare not go beyond the sight of their

own roof-tree.”49

These pronouncements outraged Wells, and she exposed these depictions as racist

myths in her pamphlet Southern Horrors. Wells argued that accusations concerning black

men’s lack of sexual control were used to cover up the fact that interracial sexual liaisons

between black men and white women were voluntarily engaged in by white

women.

“The miscegenation laws of the South . . . leave the white man free to seduce all

the colored girls he can, but it is death to the colored man who yields to the force and

advances of a similar attraction in white women. White men lynch the offending Afro-

American, not because he is a despoiler of virtue, but because he succumbs to the

smiles of white women.”50

Willard took great offense at this representation of the moral character of white

women, and attacked Wells for casting doubt on the racial-sexual purity of white

women. “It is my firm belief,” Willard wrote, “that in the statements made by Miss

Wells concerning white women having taken the initiative in nameless acts between

the races, she has put an imputation upon [the female] half of the white race . . .

that is unjust.” Wells, in turn, objected to this misrepresentation of her position, and

pointed out that she never put such an imputation on white women. All she had said

was that “colored men have been lynched for assault upon [white] women, when the

facts were plain that the relationship between the victim lynched and the alleged victim

of his assault was voluntary, clandestine, and illicit.”(1999, p.68-69) [from the book- White Women's Rights: The Racial Origins of Feminism in the United States by Louise Michele Newman]

Why did Mrs. Wells not instantly jump on the bandwagon of gender? Why are more African women not taking her example even though in America your black sons are more likely to be in jail than white men, your black babies die more than white babies (here) such inadequacies will never be looked at because by joining the gender binaries of Europeans your pressing issues take a back seat.

The more black women copy the colonial economic system of the Europeans the more they will need feminism, the more they will see cultural practices such as polygamy as oppressive, because most African cultural customs are only oppressive when practiced under colonial and capitalist domination. Mary French-Sheldon an early feminist and traveler had this to say of African polygamy:

“A man accumulates more land or more cattle than his first wife can attend; he purchases

another wife, and so on. The wives are far from being jealous of each other; in

truth are delighted to welcome a new wife, and make great preparations for her. Each

wife has her own hut. . . . She has control of her own plantations, and has the

supreme right to her children. Her moral standard is exactly the same as her husband’s.”

The fact that a “feminist” could see it as a system that helped to alleviate housework and increase female autonomy and power is a testament to the myopia affecting black feminists. This same well traveled feminist even went ahead to state that she was never treated with more chivalry anywhere in the world than by the “oppressive sexist African man”

In summation the ancient Africans understood there is significance in a name and the fact that my African women have decided to name themselves after their oppressor’s movement is a problem. I hope they can use this paper to distance themselves from a movement that is nothing more than colonialism by feminine means and be motivated to create a new female movement based on African history and reality. We African men are not supposed to speak for women but we speak of them (as an elder reminded me) however as their son and brother I cannot help to see my mothers and sisters being misled into adopting a misguided system and not speaking up on it or as Fela speaks to African women in this song (here).

___________________________________________________________

since i've began identifying with feminism, i've heard these sentiments quite often. especially from men of color. luckily, i don't see these as a challenge, i see them as an opportunity to strengthen my arguments and my commitment to the struggle.

from what i've gathered, the synopsis of black (colored) feminism from the eyes of men of color is....colored women joining forces with white women to villanize men of color and at as the more oppressed victims simultaneously denying or disregarding the oppression men of color experience. and that is aside from the stereotypes of feminists being lesbians hell bent on hating men and.... worshiping pussies or some craziness. and considering we've (most of us that identify with feminism) grown up in colonized countries, in which patriarchy runs deep, it is not a surprise that the voice against patriarchy is condemned.

for one, there is a misunderstanding of feminism altogether. black feminism, more so. feminism is simply a movement that aims to focus on the issues directly and indirectly impacting the lives of women. historically, this began as a white woman's movement, and not surprisingly, was not exempt from racism, classism, heterosexism, ableism, capitalism, cissexism, etc. this is the issue many women and men of color have with aligning themselves with the movement, as my friend raised in his essay. why women of color who experience very different experiences from white women would align themselves with these women is a valid question. however, feminism for women of color, to my understanding, has very little in common with the white feminism of the 30's, headed by women such as Susan B. Anthony and Julia Ward Howe and later on women like Gloria Steinem. a major problem with people, particularly men, attempting to criticize feminism is that they simply do not know enough about it. picking up a Betty Friedan book for a college course and watching The Color Purple does not make you an expert or even knowledgeable on feminism enough to criticize it. after you've read some bell hooks, Gloria Anzaldua, Audre Lorde, Cherrie Moraga, Angela Davis, and the like, maybe then we can have a constructive dialogue.

considering my friend looks to combat black feminism, i'll be speaking from that perspective, although it is closely connected (if not synonymous) with feminism of all women of color. black feminism looks to end racial, sexual, class, and gender inequalities (although the issues i mentioned earlier are recent additions). and while many feminists of color may have various paths they believe will result in equality, these are the main tenets of feminism. and the more and more i read authors like bell hooks and Toni Cade Bambara, the more i come to the understanding that patriarchy sometimes comes on the form of a woman, in the same way that oppression of colored people can also come from people of color. so, villanizing men is not our goal or means of gaining equality. women perpetuate patriarchy and sometimes even misogyny just as men do. men are oppressed under patriarchy just as women are. men are not and have not been the "enemy" of black feminism because there is not one set "enemy" of feminism. in addition, black feminism aims to end all forms of oppression for all people. not just women. not just women of color. the aim is at women of color because our voices, our perspectives, our well-being has been the most neglected in this and many other countries for most of history. bell hooks, who always seems to have the right words to say, wrote this in her book Talking Back: Thinking Feminist. Thinking Black:

"Emphasizing paradigms of domination that call attention to woman;s capacity to dominate is one way to deconstruct and challenge the simplistic notion that man is the enemy, woman the victim; the notion that men have always been the oppressors. such thinking enables us to examine our role as women in the perpetuation and maintenance of systems of domination. to understand domination, we must understand that our capacity as women and men to be either dominated or dominating is a point of connection, of commonality. ...i understand that in many places of the world oppressed and oppressor share the same color. i understand that right here in this room, oppressed and oppressor share the same gender. ...it is necessary to remember that it is first the potential oppressor within that we must resist-the potential victim within that we must rescue-otherwise we cannot hope for an end to domination, for liberation."

i would agree or at least respect the stance my friend has for wanting to get back to our traditional societies. i think looking towards African, Native American, Indian, Aboriginal, and Asian traditions concerning gender could be a positive force in the movement (or at least examining the relationships from a feminist perspective).

also, this whole idea that feminists are somehow choosing gender over race is a farce and just another example of mis-education concerning black feminism. we are not and have never aimed to choose gender over race or race over gender. i think one of the most important discourses in colored feminist circles is understanding that these two dichotomies intersect at our being; we live at the intersections of these two struggles. i am who i am and have experienced the things i have experiences because i am a black woman; i am a woman that is black. there is no separation of that. my relation to white women is different to the black man's relation to them; my relation and history with white men has been different than that experienced by black men; my ideals of womanhood, historically and currently, have been in relation to black men-my life has been a perspective and the experience of the intersection of those two dichotomies; the combination of the two. not one or the other. so questions concerning why i'm aligning myself with white women comes only from people who have not truly examined the intersections of various struggles. the same applies to gay black males who experience different kinds of oppression based on their sexuality AND their race. or Muslim women who experience oppression based on their gender AND their religion (in the US). these are all unique points of view whose respective struggles cannot be distinguished.

in any case, i think that feminism is a strong force that has the power to change our society for the better. no other movement is aiming to tackle all forms of oppression and domination at the same time. and i think people in colored communities should look to open more dialogues with each other concerning how our men and women interact; how women interact with each other; how men communicate with other males; how our stereotypes, preferences, and beliefs concerning sexuality, domination, and love have affected our communities and how it can repair them.

comment. think. criticize.

Blackness

"in a space before time and words, the world was covered in a thick blanket of darkness. it was a warm and loving covering. since it was hard for the spirits who inhabited this space to see one another they learned to live by and through touch. so if you were running around lost you knew you were found when arms reached out in that loving darkness to hold you. and those arms that held the spirits in that beautiful dark space before time are holding us still.

this is a little origin story i made up. i thought of it one day when i was trying to explain to a little brown girl where the babies lived before they were born-so i told her they lived in this world of loving darkness. i made up this story because i wanted this little brown girl to grow up dreaming the dark and its powerful blackness as a magic space she need never fear or dread. i made it up because i thought one day this little brown girl will hear all sorts of bad things about the darkness, about the powerful blackness, and i wanted to give her another way to look at it. i held her hand, just like my father's father, Daddy Jerry, a man who worked the land, who knew the earth was his witness, had once held my hand in the darkest of the summer nights and taught me that the blanket of night i was scared of was really longing to be my friend, to tell me all its secrets. and i reminded her, as he reminded me way back then, that those arms that first held us in that dark space before words and time hold us still. "

~bell hooks

Sisters of the Yam: Black Women and Self-Recovery

Stacey Ann Chin and Chris Brown and Rihanna

"CHANGE THE WORD YOU LIVE IN! IT IS THE ONLY ONE YOU HAVE!! CHANGE THAT MUTHAFUCKA!"

i love love love Stacey Ann Chin.
i've posted these videos on my myspace bulletin boards a number of times, and i have to post it here too.
i read a tiny book review about her memoir The Other Side of Paradise in O Magazine.
read it. bought it. and i'm having her babies in May.

anyway, watching these videos made me think about these conversations i've been having with random people at my job about the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident.
i think all of you know what happened between those two, so i won't go into that. theres a female coworker of mine, who talks about Chris Brown every now and then as if he's the child she gave up for adoption twenty years ago, who she still stalks in a motherly/creepy way. she'll say something along the lines of... "did yall see wal-mart trying to jip my boy chris brown? hiding his cd's in the back? yea, my boy had to get someone to go undercover to expose their hatin asses...."
to which i comment about how he deserves it and that other companies should follow suit.
to which she responds by insinuating that i'm some irrational feminist whose all over Rihanna's shit and has donned her with sainthood. conversations that have ended with the later have happened with a number of people, in and outside work. (and by the way, yes, i am a feminist. and no, that is not interchangeable with "man-hater". the definition for the feminist i am/hope to be can be found in bell hooks' Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center).

now, it is true that i'm not listening to, dancing to, buying, downloading, or supporting any shit that chris brown makes, produces, is featured in, or pulls out of his ass. and yes, it has to do with this situation. and it is also true that i'm not negating Rihanna in the same manner. what is NOT true is that i now support Rihanna and have labeled her innocent and want everyone to rally around her.

and i know the polemic. ... a woman who hits a man too many times should be hit back or "know her place" as one co-worker said. they're saying that chris brown was villified in the media, and Rihanna deserves the same treatment considering it was a fight in which both parties received blows and wounds.

heres the thing though, chris brown is a domestic abuser. yes, he may have gotten hit also, but this doesn't change the fact. domestic violence done at the hands of a man is one of the biggest problems in this country, not to mention worldwide. and to me, supporting ANY type of violence against women (even when she hit him, even if she cheated on him, even if she is "disobedient"-in reference to the violence against women permitted in the Quran...) supports ALL violence against women. if we fail to condemn someone like Chris Brown, then we fail to condemn fully the man who has choked his wife to death in front of their children; the man that has stalked, raped and murdered his ex after she's had restraining order set against him; the man that tosses acid on the face of an ex lover as a form of revenge. because Chris is not just another man. he is an idol to many young boys, and an ideal mate to many females. many people (mainly teenagers and young adults) look up to him. and by not condemning him, you're saying "its okay if you have mike tysoned a woman's ear....as long as you apologize". really, what type of message is it sending to young men when a man hits a woman and then comes out with an album that everyone's dancing to in the clubs? what message is this sending to the woman that is being abused right now?

i don't own nor ever wanted to own any of Chris Brown's nor Rihanna's albums. however, i'm not going to give Rihanna the same condemnation that i will Chris Brown.
when there are men being doused in acid, men being raped; being gang-raped, men being killed by their wives, and men having to go to work bruised and lie about their home situation on the same level that it is happening to a woman at the hands of a man (i am fully aware that domestic violence including rape happen against men by women), then i will condemn Rihanna. when there are homeless shelters, Houses of Ruth filled by men and their children hiding from their wives, when there are hundreds of programs and organizations directed towards men to help them cope with domestic violnece, when there are THOUSANDS of men being killed due to domestic violence, that is when i will condemn Rihanna on the same level i am Chris Brown.
but we are not at that level. not even close.

the statistics for domestic violence done against women is staggering, and it is even worse for African American Women.
Abanet.org statistics
"The number one killer of African-American women ages 15 to 34 is homicide at the hands of a current or former intimate partner.
Africana Voices Against Violence, Tufts University, Statistics, 2002,"

NCADV statistics
"One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime."

NVRC-OR statistics
"One in five (21%) women reported she had been raped or physically or sexually assaulted in her lifetime."

Find Counseling.com statistics
"Women make up 3/4 of the victims of homicide by an intimate partner. Actually, 33% of all women murdered (of course, only cases which are solved are included) are murdered by an intimate partner. Women make up about 85% of the victims of non-lethal domestic violence. In all, women are victims of intimate partner violence at a rate about 5 times that of males."

and note that i am not condoning violence against men at the hands of a woman in any way. Rihanna was wrong for engaging in it (and/or starting it), absolutely. and sexual abuse done against young males in particular, is something that has not been properly addressed by the media or domestic violence organizations. however, men and women would have to be on the same level, statistically, socially, politically, etc. concerning domestic violence, for me to have the same reaction to either party. but, as i have shown, they are not on the same level. thus, they should not be condemned in the same way.

comment. criticize. think.